Looking Out My Back Window #29

Originally posted on Facebook HERE

Up a bit earlier than usual today, and writing. Feeling kinda… “meh” today. Felt that way a good portion of yesterday, too. Do you ever get a day or time period like that in your life?… kinda reminds me of the old Sifl & Olly bit “whatever”. Meh. I think that sometimes periods of transition can lead to days like this. When you’re stunned by a death in the family, or a breakup, you kinda get that “limbo” period where nothing feels right, life seems disjointed. And then there’s just days that seem to head that way naturally from the moment you wake up. Do they mean anything?… are they a wake up call?… maybe. Yesterday was going pretty well until I did a presentation in the morning that I felt wasn’t good enough. I do think that was the impetus of the rest of the day, into this morning, being somewhat “meh” to me. I let myself down, and I can just be brutally hard on myself if I don’t do everything spot on perfect always. Then it sticks with me and affects the rest of the day, into the next day. Seems ridiculous. Even though I know in this case where the feelings are coming from, I know that my feelings are following thoughts that I myself am having and I know that the only person who can change those thoughts is me… the feeling persists. Meh. I need myself to kick my own ass and pull outta this funk. So, here’s my plan: #1: run. Sometimes just working out/running will do the trick. Get something accomplished and start feeling good about myself again. #2: meditate. Just get in touch with God, because I’m pretty sure I wasn’t put here to string together days where I feel “meh”. #3: relax. This can be a tough one for me lately. So much going on, my mind is almost always racing with thoughts. It’s one of the reasons I like sports so much. I can get lost in there and forget however briefly about everything else. #4: do something fun. I spend so much time working I rarely take a day to just go have fun. Laurie Geschke sees me less than the women I work with. And maybe this is a big part of the problem, not enough time to just enjoy life. We do several big vacations a year, but when we’re home I have a crazy schedule at work, basically every night, every Saturday. And the workload never seems to totally exit the thought load. This week’s post is starting to sound a bit like last weeks, so I’ll end with the best advice I got last week from Michael Kohn: “Lighten up, Francis”. Thanks, Mikey – I needed that. I’m taking the next two days and using them to their full “no work zone” opportunities. “Meh” no more. Turning “meh” into “yeah!”

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